Hungry for Hope: Letters to the Church from Young AdultsĚýinvites readers to the table for an honest, hopeful, and transformative exploration of the pressing challenges and opportunities facing the church today. With voices rooted in the lived experiences of young adults across the United States, this book addresses topics such as climate catastrophe, mental health, marginalization, and more, offering actionable insights for the church’s journey toward renewal and relevance.

Above images from our Panel Discussion at the ELCA’s Extravaganza 2025 featuring our illustrator Lindsay Fertig-Johnson, authors Amber Kalina and Catalina Morales Bahena hosted by Kristina FrugĂ©.

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Two years ago we hosted 50 young adults from around the US at Augsburg for a weekend of storytelling and listening. The reason for this gathering was to unearth the common hopes, concerns and desires young adults hold for the church and the world we share. In sifting through the stories shared, we hoped to distill themes that might give shape to a book we wanted to create – one written by young adults to the church. This book was one of the ways Riverside Innovation Hub was committed to stewarding what we learned in our first five years of the Lilly Endowment’s Young Adult Initiative. After working with congregations and young adults in our inaugural round of the Riverside Innovation Hub, supported through the Lilly Endowment, we were granted additional funding and time to share the wisdom and learnings that emerged. Who better to speak those truths than the young adults themselves?Ěý

Just two years shy of that special gathering this very book has come to be. Well, nearly.

The manuscript was submitted to our publisher early in September and now we will work with them to take the final steps of transforming our authors’ ideas, stories and whole-hearted requests into a book that can be shared broadly. So much has transpired within those two years – an author application process, two writing retreats to launch and further along the writing community, collaboration with an illustrator bringing to life themes of the book, multiple rounds of editing drafts, countless cups of coffee and hours at laptops, and final revisions to compile the completed manuscript over the summer.Ěý

Each chapter provides an invitation to a table. Chapter one describes what courageous curiosity looks like and proposes this posture as a necessary mindset for the church and young adults as we approach the present day challenges lifted up in this book. Chapter two orients us to the young adult experience, too often shaped by tokenization. It offers an alternative approach rooted in relationship; one where young adults are valued co-creators for our shared future.Ěý

Chapter three (our climate catastrophe), chapter four (grief and lament) and chapter five (mental health) work together to paint the bigger picture of our times. Together these three chapters name the very hard realities that shape our human experience, while also offering guidance for finding our way in the ruins.Ěý

Chapters six (abuse of power), seven (marginalization, inclusion and liberation), and eight (sex, shame and intimacy) reveal some of the particular ways young adults have been grieving as our churches have contributed to harm and avoided confronting the ways change is needed. The themes of these chapters are inherently intertwined.Ěý

Chapter nine brings us back to the importance of community, and how the church can more fully embody a community defined by the centrality of Jesus. Chapter ten (beyond the walls) further fleshes out the faithful next steps for our church communities. Being centered on Jesus, in fact, means our churches are called to be decentered towards our neighbors, becoming trustworthy partners in God’s mending work in the world. Finally, chapter eleven (scarcity and abundance) lifts up a more adequate and faithful narrative from which we can enter into the challenges before us. A narrative rooted in reclaiming “enough” that roots us in God’s abundance, mending our relationships – with God, with each other, and with the earth.Ěý

Editing and stewarding this process has been perhaps one of the largest professional projects of my career, certainly the one with the most moving pieces! I am so proud of what this team created together and deeply grateful for all of those who helped bring this project to fruition. The list is too long to name in this blog post, but as we get closer to releasing the book to the public, you will hear more about it and the many hands and hearts behind it.Ěý

As we shared the draft manuscript with a handful of readers, we asked them, who do you think should read this book once it’s completed. Take a read at their feedback of who they hope reads this book. And if you hear yourself in their reflections, and we’ll keep you posted as the book gets closer to release!

“I imagine using it [this book] for student leadership development. Peer group book study and for young adults who are in discernment about their faith journey. And as a preacher, I confess there are definitely some quotables and “that’ll preach!” material here.”

“For me this will be a reference point any time someone brings up the fact that young people are leaving the church! I think it could be helpful in a congregational council setting, maybe for a retreat. And I think it needs to be required reading for every faculty/staff member at our schools of theological education and hopefully met with empathy. Better yet, you could have trainings with these faculty/staff based on this book so that they can meet with empathy and not scorn.”Ěý

“I would recommend it to people who have young adults in their lives, church people who are worried about the future, young adults seeking meaning, theologians. AND! Older people who feel disconnected from the younger generation. I thought of my dad—a retired Presbyterian minister—who grew up and practiced ministry in a different world than the one his grandchildren live in. There’s a lot in here that could inform conversations we’ve had about why society looks the way it does and why young people make some of the choices they do (including to leave church in droves).”

“Every call committee and church council who are going through the process of calling a new pastor and/or figuring out a vision for their specific congregation should read this book. As one going through this process at the moment, I deeply resonated with Amanda, Jia, and Kristina’s writing in the introduction, specifically, the invitation to sit together around the table especially on the Holy Saturday moments we continue to find ourselves in. I think it’s also important for the young adult demographic to read this book, so that we can add to the conversation from our own perspectives and so that this book can become a living document of sorts, rather than another resource for older generations to try to understand “young people.”

Anticipated release is fall of 2025, but follow us for more updates on this project. We have several ways we hope to engage interested folks in the learnings from this book before and after its public release

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Written by Brenna Zeimet

As I reflect on this event, I am awash with a sense of expectant hope. As I wandered the tables and listened to conversations and sat one to one talking with folks, I was struck by how much has changed in such a short time.Ěý

The conversations have changed from questioning what we’re doing here and what this is all about, to finding deep connection with the neighbor’s story and searching for a place in the narrative of the community. Where do we fit? What should we be paying attention to? Who do we need to be to meet our neighbor where they are today? It was no longer a skeptical questioning of this process or a planning session for new programs, this community has begun to fall in love with the people around them and that love is driving change in our worldview and our identity as the Church. We are changing as we adapt to the heartbeat of God for people.

I am excited about what this season of Interpretation will bring as we dig deep into the beliefs and assumptions that drive our actions. We will examine how our worldview brings hope and where it causes harm or puts up barriers to authentic and vulnerable relationship. These teams are ready to engage this intense and transformative work, and the health that will flow from this time will bring change to our churches and our neighborhoods.

At our last learning event Kristina Fruge shared a letter with our RIH community to open our space both online and in person. It was written with inspiration from her friend Lauren out in Spokane, WA. It was a beautiful way to open and close our event and there are invitations she names that are good reminders on how we can create places of belonging for all our neighbors. We share it with you in hopes that it will continue to nourish your soul as you embark on this work of being neighbor in the world in the midst of all the feelings of being human.Ěý

Dear neighbor,

This letter is your invitation. You may have already RSVPed to show up today, but this letter and these words are your invitation to be present and to participate in this gathering – to give what you have to offer and likewise to receive the gifts of others in this community.Ěý

You are invited today, neighbor, to show up with all of you. No need to leave anything at the door today.Ěý Our time together will include exploring the artform of interpretation. This means we will take time to wonder about the realities that shape our understanding of the world around us. This means your experiences, your stories, the places you are from, the people who have shaped you, and the realities and relationships that are currently demanding your attention, truly matter.Ěý

Are you bringing sadness with you today? You are invited.Ěý

Are you bringing joy with you today? You are invited.

Are you bringing worry about the uncertainties of the future – of your own, your congregation’s, your community’s, this planet’s? You are invited.Ěý

Are you bringing exhaustion or fatigue with you today? You are invited.Ěý

Are you bringing compassion and hope with you today? You are invited. And if that’s you, don’t be shy to share a little with those of us who are running on low…

Are you bringing grief with you today? If so, you are invited. And may you be reminded that God’s presence is ever more close to you right now. So keep an eye out.

Each and everyone of you is invited to keep your eyes and ears and hearts open, expectantly on the look out for God’s activity among us. You are invited, just as you are invited to pay attention to all the parts of you that shape the lens you use to engage and understand the world.Ěý

Thank you for saying yes to this invitation when it likely meant saying “no” to others. Welcome! Welcome to this time of sharing, of learning, of connecting. Welcome to this time of community. Your presence and participation today is what makes this community possible. And community makes all things possible. Yours truly, Kristina

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Greetings,

In the flow of our everyday lives, finding moments of peace to hear the quiet, divine whispers can be out of sight and out of mind. Today, I’m reaching out to share such a moment with you.

This is my invitation for you to join me in a quiet reflection on the profound connections between the sacred words of scripture and the intricate details of our personal journeys. As we consider how the living words of scripture, like fresh waters, bring vitality and clarity to our lives, let us pause and be present in the serenity of this understanding. Together, let’s explore how these deeper truths resonate within our own stories, guiding us towards deeper insights and a renewed spirit.

A devotion and Invitation to Reflect on Interpretation

Peace,

In my life there is this constant movement and noise, it’s sometimes very challenging to find moments of true stillness—moments where I can pause and be deeply present with the divine whispers that my busy day usually drowns out. Today, I am extending an invitation to you, an invitation to take a moment and journey with me into a reflection on interpretation; an exploration of how the sacred word intertwines with the intimate details of our personal stories.

Ezekiel 47:9, “Wherever the river flows, every living creature that swarms will live, and there will be very many fish. For this water goes there, that the waters of the sea may become fresh; so everything will live where the river goes.” This verse paints a picture of life and renewal—of water that revitalizes and sustains all that it touches. Like the river, the Spirit of God moves, flows, and brings life to all areas it reaches, including the heart.

I invite you to join me in nature, or any place where you can be still. Sometimes I sit quietly looking out my window and I let myself gently settle into myself. Relaxing the body and feeling the ground beneath you, listen to the subtle sounds around you, and simply watch what’s in front of your nose. Allow the initial rush of thoughts to digest, just let the mind do what the mind does- just like our digestive system works, the mind is a kind of its own mental digester; it doesn’t need you to do anything, just let the mental chatter chat away. As the mind is processing, let yourself be more and more in the moment, embracing the beauty, the sounds and feelings that are all around you. Come to a stillness.ĚýĚý

In this stillness, reflect on where God’s Word meets your life. Consider how the scripture from Ezekiel might be speaking into your circumstances. What fresh waters are being poured into your life? How is everything around you full of this potential for life and growth because of this divine flow?

This letter of devotion isn’t just about understanding words on a page; it’s about letting those words transform us as they connect with our personal and interpersonal experiences. It’s about recognizing the divine movement in both the extraordinary and the ordinary. As you sit in reflection, ask yourself: Where do I see the flow of God’s Spirit in my life? How does my story reflect the greater story that God is telling?

I hope this invitation will open a possibility for you to explore and deepen your understanding of how God’s living word continuously shapes and redefines our unfolding story. May you find fresh inspiration and renewed perspective as you reflect on the intersection of holy scripture and your wholly life.

In being still and knowing that I am,

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When teaching college students how to think theologically, I often hear them say, “I don’t know if I can think theologically because I’m not really even sure what my key beliefs are.” What follows is a process I have used many times when helping high school students, college students, and adults become more aware of the key theological claims that shape how they understand and interpret life. You can go through this process on your own, with a partner, or with a group. If doing with others, find moments when you can share what you are writing with one another and offer feedback to each other.Ěý

Brainstorming Your Core Beliefs

1. Using index cards, post-its, or small slips of paper, write down all the biblical stories and lessons that are important to you. Write one per piece of paper. Leave room on each piece of paper to add more later.
2. Continue to use index cards, post-its, or slips of paper and now write all the things you have been taught about God that are most important to you – attributes of God, things God does, things God doesn’t do, how God does things, why God does things, etc. Again, write only one on each piece of paper and leave room on each piece for more writing later.
3. On each piece of paper write a brief description of why that particular biblical story, biblical lesson, or belief about God is important to you.

Organizing Your Core Beliefs into Themes

1. Organize your individual pieces of paper into clusters with others that are similar.
2. After you have clustered similar ones together, write a one-word title for the shared theme of those cards and brief description of that theme. These themes are your key theological claims. The individual cards under each theme are specific examples of your core theological claims.

Interrogating Your Core Theological Claims

1. Reflect on this definition of theology by theologian Douglas John Hall (from “What is Theology? in Crosscurrents, 2003): “Theology is what occurs when the Christian community knows itself to be living between text and context . . . between the tradition bequeathed to it from those who have gone before and the unfinished book of time present and future. Or perhaps we could put it even more simply: Theology is that ongoing activity of the whole church that aims at clarifying what “gospel” must mean here and now. . . The [gospel] is good [news] because it challenges and displaces bad news. Gospel addresses us at the place where we are overwhelmed by an awareness . . . of what is wrong with the world and with ourselves in it. It is good news because it engages, takes on and does battle with the bad news, offering another alternative, another vision of what could be, another way into the future.”

2. Spend some time thinking about each of your key theological claims in light of Hall’s definition of theology and gospel above.

• When has this claim been good news for you? How? Why?
• When has this claim been good news for your neighbor? How? Why?
• Has this claim ever been bad news for you or your neighbor? When? How? Why? If so, do you think this claim might need to be reevaluated or let go?

Practicing Using Your Core Theological Claims

1. Pick a controversial issue or a current local or global crisis. Examine that issue or crisis through the lens of your key theological claims.
   1. How do your theological claims inform how you think and feel about this issue?
   2. Do they change your perspective? How? Why?
   3. Are they helpful? Problematic? How? Why?

Next Steps

1. Now that you have gained more insight into your key theological claims, it is important to be honest about how they might be helpful and how they might be harmful.
   1. How do you see your key theological claims being helpful?
   2. How do you see your key theological claims being potentially harmful?
2. Who can you share these key theological claims with for feedback and conversation?

As you move forward from this exercise, remember the words of Douglas John Hall, “Theology is that ongoing activity of the whole church that aims at clarifying what [good news] must mean here and now.”

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Brenna’s Reflection

As we journey together through our season of accompaniment, our teams are learning a lot about their neighbors and what it means to be a public church. In our March cohort meeting we heard stories of engaging with schools, local police, members in our congregations, and local pastors from other churches. Our teams have begun to explore their neighborhoods on prayer walks and they’ve been meeting in local coffee shops and restaurants to listen and learn. They’ve engaged in public forums and local events and even attended Iftar dinners with their Muslim neighbors. Their curiosity and love for their neighbors is growing and it culminated in an exciting moment at our March cohort meeting where one of our team members interrupted the sharing time with an epiphany, “I have been trying to figure out this whole time what out project would be at the end of this, but I’m realizing…Relationships Are The Project”. They’re starting to catch it, knowing and loving your neighbor is the whole goal.

Geoffrey’s Reflection

Many teams are slowly and steadily unfolding how to express the purpose of this work. In a meaningful conversation, Pastor Andrea, from Diamond Lake Lutheran, one of our mentor congregations, asked team member Kurt, why does this work matter? Remembering what Jeremy Myers said, at the accompaniment learning event, Kurt emphasized that our mission aligns with the biblical narrative of accompaniment—God is a relational God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This insight compels us to genuinely live out our faith, walking with and being in trustworthy relationships with our neighbors just as Christ did.

A thread that underlies every team is embracing change, everybody is moving at their own pace but all reimagining their role as the church in today’s world. This shift has been deeply emotional, bringing up forgotten and unforgiven threads that were swept under the rug. Walking through this shift, we are carefully tending and deadheading our spiritual gardens, and we are encountering a mix of grief and opportunity. Clearing the debris; composting and making space for new growth and blooming.

Alas, all this work brings up feelings of loss and hope. Grieving has been a recurring theme and an integral part of our conversations, it reminds me of a kind of enduring, like a mother pregnant with new life and physically going through a transformation to welcome and raise a new being into the world. This process as we learn or more accepting requires us to slow down and break the agenda, to pause and deeply reflect, making space for both lamenting what was and anticipating what will be.

As we adapt, it’s clear that many teams are ready to step into this new path and some of us are struggling forward into a new possibility of a deeper and more profound relationship with God, church, and neighbor.

The post Faith in Action: Reflecting God’s Relational Essence appeared first on Bernhard Christensen Center for Vocation.

We wall ourselves to protect ourselves. Let’s take a look at a few things that have held me mentally and physically back from really connecting to others and being in community.

These Barriers or walls are things that keep me(us) from experiencing another person’s heart, soul, mind, and strength.

*The Heart (passions, hurts, motivations, dreams),Ěý

*Soul ( personality, how they think, communicate, problem solve),Ěý

*Mind (what they believe, worldview, values, sense of self, sense of humor, what they find sacred)Ěý

*Strength (how they help, skills they bring to the table, the unique beauty they add to the world)

Key Barriers to One to Ones:

When we do scary and uncomfortable things, our bodies and emotions may react in order to protect ourselves from what our bodies perceive as danger.Ěý

We do this in many ways, here are some examples:Ěý

• Allowing nervousness or fear of rejection to prevent you from engaging with others can limit opportunities to form meaningful relationships.Ěý
• Taking the power of someone’s opinion out of the equation
• Closed-Off Attitude: Not showing genuine interest or curiosity about others can create a barrier to forming deep connections.
• Poor Nonverbal Engagement: Lack of eye contact and closed body language can signal disinterest, hindering the development of trust and rapport. (80%+ communication)
• Negative Mindset: Approaching interactions with negativity or skepticism can make conversations strained and uninviting. **Being honest about something that was wrong- and acknowledging it.Ěý
• Anxiety and self protective responses that protect us from others (If I keep it cool then people won’t know what I really have going on and they cant use it against me)
• Superficial Sympathy: Focusing only on surface-level sympathy instead of striving for deeper empathy and understanding can lead to shallow connections.
• Ignoring Personal Boundaries: Pushing too hard for personal information or not respecting someone’s comfort zone can damage trust and discourage further interaction.
• Overlooking Small Achievements: Not recognizing the importance of small steps in relationship building can lead to missed opportunities for growth and connection.
• Unprepared Conversations: Entering into interactions without any thought or preparation can result in unproductive and awkward exchanges.
• Self-Centered Approach: Focusing solely on what you can get out of a relationship, instead of also considering what you can contribute, can create imbalance and hinder genuine connection.
• Lack of Presence: Being distracted or not fully engaged in conversations can make others feel undervalued and disrespected.

In essence, these boundaries stem from a lack of openness, engagement, and respect in interactions. Recognizing and working to overcome these barriers can enhance the ability to build authentic and meaningful relationships.

Overcoming Barriers Tips and Tricks:

When we bypass our fear and invest in others this is what brave, productive, healthy space looks like. A holistic approach, addressing both the emotional and practical aspects of building one-on-one relationships are found below. When you decide this is about the other person and you dive into the mystery and exploration this what you do:Ěý

• Encourage Curiosity: Emphasize the value of being curious about the other person. Curiosity can lead to more engaging and dynamic conversations. It shows that you’re genuinely interested in learning about them, which can create a stronger connection.
• Practice Nonverbal Communication: Nonverbal cues like eye contact, nodding, and open body language can significantly enhance communication. These cues can show that you’re engaged and interested in the conversation, even without many words.
• Set a Positive Tone: Starting conversations with a positive attitude and an open mind can set a welcoming and comfortable tone for the interaction. Positivity tends to be contagious and can make the experience more enjoyable for both parties.
• Reframe Anxiety as Excitement: Sometimes, nervousness in meeting new people can be reframed as excitement. This slight shift in perspective can change how you approach the conversation, making it more about the opportunity rather than the fear.
• Emphasize Empathy Over Sympathy: While sympathy is feeling for someone, empathy is feeling with them. Encourage your group to strive for empathy, which fosters deeper understanding and connection.
• Acknowledge and Respect Boundaries: It’s important to recognize and respect personal boundaries in conversations. Not everyone may be comfortable sharing personal details immediately, and that’s okay.
• Celebrate Small Victories: Acknowledge and celebrate even the small successes in building relationships, like having a pleasant conversation or finding a shared interest. This can boost confidence and motivation.
• Prepare Some Go-To Conversation Starters: Having a few general topics or questions in mind can help ease into conversations more smoothly, especially when you’re unsure of how to start.
• Remember It’s a Two-Way Street: Relationships are about giving and receiving. Encourage your group to not only share about themselves but also to be open to what others have to offer.
• Mindfulness and Presence: Being fully present in the conversation, without distractions, can make the interaction more meaningful and respectful.

Practices to Add Daily

Integrating these practices into daily life requires consistent effort, patience, and sometimes, a shift in mindset.Ěý

Here are some ways to help embody these concepts more naturally over time:

• Regular Practice: practice these skills regularly. Like any other skill, building relationships improves with practice. Even small, daily interactions can be opportunities to hone these skills.
• Reflection and Journaling: Keep a journal of your experiences in building relationships. Reflecting on what worked, what didn’t, and how they felt during interactions can provide valuable insights and personal growth.
• Role-Playing and Scenarios: You could use role-playing exercises to practice different scenarios. This can help members feel more prepared and confident in real-life situations.
• Set Personal Goals: Set realistic, personal goals related to building relationships. These could be as simple as initiating a conversation with a stranger or asking more open-ended questions in their interactions. Create a white board chart to capture your personal goals.Ěý
• Create a Supportive Environment: Foster a group culture where members feel safe to share their experiences and challenges. Support from the group can be a powerful motivator and source of encouragement.
• Mindfulness Practices: Introduce mindfulness exercises that focus on being present and aware during interactions. This can help in managing anxiety and being more engaged in conversations.
• Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate the progress each member makes, no matter how small. This can boost morale and encourage continued effort.
• Buddy System: Pair up members so they can practice these skills together and provide feedback to each other. This can also help in building accountability.
• Adapt and Personalize: Remind everyone that it’s okay to adapt these concepts to suit their individual personalities and situations. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to building relationships.
• Patience and Compassion: Encourage patience, both with oneself and with others. Building meaningful relationships doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s important to be compassionate with oneself through the process.
• Lead by Example: finding a leader (good example) whose approach to building relationships can serve as a powerful example. Ask them to share their experiences, including the challenges, to show that it’s a shared journey.

By incorporating these strategies, the group can gradually shift these concepts from being mere ideas to natural, integral parts of their daily interactions and relationships. It’s about creating a supportive and proactive environment where personal growth is encouraged and celebrated.

Team Activity

I created a lesson plan to help walk teams through a discussion and practices to empower group members to understand and overcome common barriers in forming authentic one-on-one relationships in hopes to leave members feeling encouraged and celebrated.

, , to print off.

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The Riverside Innovation Hub is a learning community made of local congregations who gather together to learn how to be and become public church in their neighborhood contexts. We convene congregations over two years together, shaped by learning and practicing the artforms of the Public Church Framework in each congregation’s unique context.

Accompaniment is the first artform of the Public Church Framework. It is the movement out into the neighborhood to hear the neighbors’ stories. In this movement, we learn to engage and listen to the neighbor for the neighbor’s sake. We’ve simplified and categorized accompaniment into four different practices that help us hear our neighbors’ stories. This blog post dives into the last layer of accompaniment, one to ones.

You can also read more about the other three layers – Understanding Demographic Data, Prayer Walk in the Neighborhood, and Engaging Listening Posts.

Tools for Deep Conversations

Written by Brenna ZeimetĚý

The desire to know and be known is at the core of our being as humans. Our compassion, our actions, and our hearts are driven by the relationships and stories of the people around us. When we understand others deeply and connect their experience to our own, we are compelled to love them, it is how we are wired.

Most of us navigate the world as the star of our own story, we spend our days running our errands, chasing our goals and interacting with the friends and family that complete our story’s cast of characters. Every single day we pass dozens of other humans, on the road, in our schools, in the grocery store, even on our own block. Like extras on a movie set, those people wander through the scenes that make up our days and for the most part, we are oblivious to their existence.

What if we got curious about the characters that pass us everyday? What if when we thought about the people who we share space with we saw human beings with stories and dreams and value. What if we began to investigate the depth and beauty and friendships that we are missing out on each day?

Any good story hinges on character development, we connect with the characters when we understand their essence. We want to know their backstory, their motivation, their strengths, their goals, how they think, what they love, what breaks their heart. Knowing your neighbor involves getting to know their essence, moving beyond surface conversation about the weather and sports, and having real, deep, curious conversations – conversations that result in knowing and being known.

As you get to know your neighbors, this exercise will help you have deep and meaningful conversations. I want you to approach these interactions like a writer who is exploring a character for their story. I want you to treat these interactions like a mystery that you are solving. Ask the deep questions, listen past the words that are said to discover “the why” behind it all, seek to truly understand and fully appreciate the human you are interacting with.ĚýĚý

You can tell a lot about a person from what they love, what makes them mad, what intrigues and motivates them, what they find funny, how they approach conflict/obstacles, how they feel about people/crowds/ talking, what breaks their heart, the wins and losses in their story.Ěý

As you listen to the story of the person you interact with, pay close attention to the things they reveal about themselves and begin to connect the details into a picture that you can paint for us in this exercise…

Exercise

The post One to Ones: Tool for Deep Conversations appeared first on Bernhard Christensen Center for Vocation.

Accompaniment is the first artform of the Public Church Framework. It is the movement out into the neighborhood to hear the neighbors’ stories. In this movement, we learn to engage and listen to the neighbor for the neighbor’s sake. We’ve simplified and categorized accompaniment into four different practices that help us hear our neighbors’ stories. This blog post dives into the third layer accompaniment, engaging listening posts.Ěý

You can also read more about the other three layers – Understanding Demographic Data and Prayer Walks in the Neighborhood.Ěý

Listening Posts

Written by Kristina Fruge

Listening posts might just be my favorite element of accompaniment. As someone who is an introvert at heart, but who also prefers to spend the energy I do have on relationships, listening posts offer a soft landing for accompaniment to begin. Listening posts provide an invitation to be fully present and curious about new surroundings while also creating the potential of connections with neighbors in big and small ways.Ěý

A listening post is the term we use to describe the locations that people naturally convene or gather in a neighborhood. This might include the local coffee shop, the ball fields during the summer, a local YMCA, neighborhood association meetings, the local community garden, the town grocery store, the dog park, or even a neighborhood gas station. Your particular context likely has other types of listening posts not on this list, but the common thread is that they function as a sort of hub for people who live, work, worship, pass through or play in that neighborhood to gather and connect. AND, they are great places for listening. Listening posts blend together opportunities for noticing desolation and consolation, as we do in the prayer walks, but also can open doors for one-to-one conversations with neighbors.Ěý

Here is some advice to help you explore the listening posts in your neighborhood. that you can print out to share!Ěý

Identify local listening posts.Ěý

Your prayer walk will help you identify possible listening posts! You can read all about prayer walks in our other blog here. Not only can a prayer walk help you locate possible listening posts, but based on your other observations as you pay close attention to desolation and consolation in the neighborhood, you may discover things that you want to learn more about. That curiosity could lead you to a more focused approach in your search for listening posts.Ěý

You also can ask local leaders, business owners or other neighbors who live in the community where they gather. The local librarian may also be a good resource to talk to. One RIH congregation discovered that another community group was facilitating something called Circle Groups in their neighborhood. These circle groups were gatherings where leaders intentionally invited people from different backgrounds into vulnerable conversations about the things that mattered most to them in the neighborhood. The team members from this congregation were invited to participate and were amazed and humbled to be in a place with neighbors sharing from the heart and in a safe place.Ěý

Finally, feel free to use our list as a jumping off point to imagine possible listening posts in your neighborhood.Ěý

Prepare to visit the listening posts and to be a good guest.

Accompaniment in our neighborhoods is an invitation to flip the script on radical hospitality. A young leader we worked with was a part of an RIH congregation that highly valued offering radical hospitality in their space. He wisely challenged his team to explore this question – What does it mean to extend radical hospitality when we are the guest? They took this imagination with them out into their neighborhood, attempting to apply their core value of radical hospitality from the position of guest, rather than host. And we invite your congregation to do likewise as you visit the listening posts of your neighborhood.Ěý

What does it mean to extend radical hospitality when you are the guest in the listening posts of your neighborhood? The answer to this question will vary depending on your particular context and the particular listening post you are visiting. However, humility, curiosity and compassion again become important values to hold on to. The importance of these values was explored in an earlier post on prayer walks which we encourage you to read, especially since participating in prayer walks in the neighborhood will help you discover the neighborhoods’ listening posts!Ěý

However, the summarized explanation is that in all of our efforts to become vital neighbors, we will find ourselves encountering people and places we don’t know or don’t know very well. We will encounter differences between ourselves and others – whether it be racially, religiously, socio-economically, generationally, or across so many other distinctions. We also expect to experience connection as we discover similarities – love of the same local business, or our pets, or our children, or perhaps share similar fears or longings for ourselves and our neighborhoods. Our differences and our similarities are beautiful gifts – they are what makes up a community and can contribute to the mutual flourishing of its members. However, when ignored, dismissed, threatened or undervalued, these similarities and differences can contribute to harm and heartache in our neighborhoods.Ěý

Imagine a time when you have been a guest in someone else’s home or in a context different than your own. How did humility, curiosity and compassion factor into your efforts to be a good guest in those places? Spend time with others in your congregation wondering about how these values help us be radically hospitable guests as you prepare to visit some of the listening posts in your neighborhood.Ěý

Bring some good questions and a goal.

Listening posts are great places to observe and take a pulse on the neighborhood. But hopefully, an opportunity to interact with neighbors as well. If you’re an extrovert, this may be a fun challenge to meet new people but you’ll want to have some questions in your back pocket to help you be a good listener. We’ve shared some of our favorites below, but get creative.Ěý

• What’s your history with this neighborhood (or this listening post?)Ěý
• What do you love about this neighborhood? What concerns do you have about this neighborhood?
• What’s your favorite place in this neighborhood?
• If I wanted to get to know more about this neighborhood, who would you suggest I talk to?Ěý
• What is one wish you have for this neighborhood?Ěý

And if you’re an introvert, you may want to consider setting a goal for yourself. Here are some examples:

• I want to meet three new people, learn their names and one thing they like about this neighborhood.Ěý
• I want to learn about the history of this listening post.
• I want to find one person who I can invite for coffee for a one-to-one conversation at a later time.Ěý

One RIH congregation spent several afternoons at a local park that was a listening post near their church. They set up a table with some simple kids games and prizes and had a sign up that simply said, “What are your hopes for this community?” They were truly surprised how many people stopped and visited their table, many sharing their thoughts on this question. And a small number of their interactions went from small talk to strangers sharing stories and opening up about some of their heartaches. The church members reflected afterward about how real the presence of God’s love was in these interactions, despite no talk of God, Jesus or church. It left them wondering about the countless stories they didn’t yet hear in the lives of their neighbors.Ěý

Share, reflect and identify next steps as a team after your visits.Ěý

Finally, after you’ve made some visits with other members of your congregation to local listening posts, plan a time to share about your experiences together. Compare your experiences. Listen for any common themes or surprises that come up across your different experiences. Discuss how these encounters are shaping your next steps, especially as you make plans to do one-to-one conversations with neighbors.Ěý

We often talk about “pulling the thread” in this work, which is a way of talking about how we follow the energy and curiosity this exploration of our neighborhoods sparks. As you think about next steps, specifically potential one-to-one conversations you may want to have, reflect on the threads that are starting to poke through. Maybe it was a surprising encounter or discovery in the neighborhood. Maybe it was a theme you noticed. Maybe someone suggested an organization or local leader to connect with. Allow your reflections as a team to surface the threads you want to pull on as you develop your plans for deeper, one-to-one conversations with neighbors.Ěý

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In late January we hosted our learning event focused on the Artform of Accompaniment. Brenna and Geoffrey reflect below on lessons and learnings from that event.Ěý

Trust the Process: A Journey of Connection and Transformation

This past January, a gathering took place at Augsburg University, marking the beginning of an extraordinary journey for our congregations. We embarked on a path to explore and embody the art of accompaniment, a journey aimed at not just knowing about the neighbor, actually knowing the neighbor, and unraveling a new way of being church in the world.

The Essence of Accompaniment

Accompaniment, the first of four art forms we dive into, challenges us to not just know about our neighbors but to actually really know them—to see their essence. This deep understanding is fundamental, setting the stage for the upcoming art forms of interpretation, discernment, and proclamation. Our learning event was more than an educational endeavor; it was an invitation to transform how we interact and perceive the people around us.

The Power of Practice

A pivotal aspect of our gathering was the emphasis on practicing accompaniment through one-to-ones. That’s when I really saw the importance of cultivating these connections and practice among ourselves.

During a lunchtime exercise, participants paired up with someone from a different congregation, someone they didn’t know, and then embark on a journey of discovering the essence of each other. The simple act of asking questions and just listening unveiled the profound impact of hearing and sharing stories. Returning from the exercise, the air was filled with laughter, smiles, and a sense of connection. This practice, as many reflected, was the highlight of the day, underscoring the simplicity and inspiration found in truly meeting someone new and authentically connecting.

Creating a New World Together

This event was not just about learning; it was about preparing to build a new world together. The question, “when my world and your world collide, what happens now?” captures the essence of our mission. We are preparing to step out of our comfort zones, to listen and share stories, to connect our narratives with those of our neighbors. This is the groundwork for a new world—a world as intended by God.

The overarching vision of our journey is rooted in the belief that we are created for connection. It’s our stories with those of our neighbors that we find the blueprint for this new world. Through connecting, listening, and truly hearing, we step into a realm of mutual understanding and empathy. This connection goes beyond mere interaction; it’s about engaging with stories on a deeper, heart level, being with and allowing the stories to move and transform us from within.

A Transformed Perspective

The learning event taught us that true connection involves more than just knowing each other’s stories; it’s about letting those stories resonate within us, altering our worldview, our thinking, and how we engage with the world. This process of connection with others, leaning into their story, and allowing it to transform our mind and heart is what prepares us to embrace a new perspective, living in a world that we’ve collectively reimagined.

As we continue on this journey, we continue leaning into the knowledge that our shared stories and connections are not just pathways to understanding but the very fabric of the new world we seek to create together

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